Geliophobia

Sleigh Crash Site Discovered; End of Christmas?

2008-12-22T14:01:00.001-05:00

Serbia, Russia - (AP) This morning in Siberia a group of hikers discovered a scorched crash site about 200 miles north of Barnaul, the most populous city in this mostly barren snow land. Details are not clear, but early reports are stating that the hikers stumbled across the smoldering crash site of a large aircraft, possibly a sleigh, being pulled by what appears to be six to eight tiny reindeer or regular deer. The authorities are not confirming or denying any information until a complete autopsy of the body in the aircraft is complete; however, the coroners’ office has confirmed that the human remains are that of a large male in his thousands.

This crash comes only a month after the North Pole issued a press release stating, albeit cryptically, “Today, North Pole R&D has ushered in a new era. The sleigh ride will never be the same.”

Twitter the End of Prose?

2008-12-16T15:52:00.001-05:00

maybe?

Worst. Sports. Injuries.

2007-02-28T21:54:00.000-05:00

Wow. These are awful. Be warned, these are bad. When sports go wrong.

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iTunes + Your Music Library = Sweet Plug-in

2007-02-24T12:09:00.000-05:00

iConcertCal is a free iTunes plug-in that monitors your music library and generates a personalized calendar of upcoming concerts in your city. It is available for both Windows and Mac OS X and supports worldwide searches.

It works well.

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ZOMBIE!!! FRIDAY!

2007-02-23T08:18:00.000-05:00

Left 4 Dead is an upcoming multiplayer co-operative survival horror game by Turtle Rock Studios and Valve Corporation (a collaboration that has previously produced Counter-Strike: Condition Zero, as well as maps and the official bot for Valve's Counter-Strike: Source), with no exact release date set so far although 2007 is said (according to many websites) to be the year of release. The game has been built using Valve's Source engine.

wikipedia article

Left 4 Dead homepage

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Do You Have Insurance for a Meteorite Caused Tsunami?

2007-02-21T11:21:00.000-05:00

State Farm has you covered.

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Calvin (and Hobbes) Play in the Snow...For Real

2007-02-20T18:22:00.000-05:00

Calvin and Hobbes influenced snowmen

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Will Arnett is Going to Space

2007-02-15T09:49:00.000-05:00

Space station-set story, penned by Mike Lisbe and Nate Reger, centers on a love triangle. The writing team, who developed the script with Arnett, began working on the script months before the recent arrest of astronaut Lisa Nowak on charges that she tried to murder a woman she believed was her rival for a Space Shuttle pilot.

Whole Article

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Favorite Jack Kill of Season 6...

2007-02-13T17:15:00.000-05:00

so far

Jack Bauer is a Vampire

Add to My Profile | More Videos

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Old Old Old School Breaking

2007-02-07T19:25:00.000-05:00

Its cool, you can see how breaking and locking and roboting came about.

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Lost's New Theme Song

2007-02-02T19:18:00.000-05:00

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...Then, Jesus and Santa, hand-in-hand, said "Let There Be...

2007-02-01T13:52:00.000-05:00

Jimmy Dean Pancake & Sausage on a stick!"

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We Can't Let the Mooninites Win!

2007-02-01T10:17:00.000-05:00

from digg

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The First Few Days

2007-01-30T20:04:00.000-05:00

Mr. Deity Episode 1: Mr. Deity and the Evil

Mr. Deity Episode 2: Mr. Deity and the Really Big Favor

Mr. Deity Episode 3: Mr. Deity and The Light

Mr. Deity Episode 4: Mr. Deity and the Messages

Episode 5: Mr. Deity and Lucifer

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This is Troubling

2007-01-30T15:03:00.000-05:00

Religion corrupting children.

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Bar, Bar, Bar, Bar-Bar-Beran

2007-01-30T08:11:00.000-05:00

I don't know what the atmosphere is like in the rest of our great nation, but here in Philly and the surrounding area people are sad. Reason? A HORSE. A horse is a course a horse a horse. I love my pets as much as the next cat-lady, but I do not think Barbaro's life and death should be national news.

On the local news they interviewed a florist who's shop was close to Barb's stable. They asked what happened after she found out about the dead horse, with tears in her eyes she said, "I've been crying all day, and praying." The segment featured other interviews in which people stated that they to had been crying and praying all day. I am not really sure what these people are praying for. When I was blinded and misguided, I was under the impression that praying for the dead was like sending letters of recommendation to God on behalf of the deceased.

"Dear god-
Gramps was a good guy. He farted sometimes, but overall all he was a good worker. He showed up on time for birthdays, and always came through on holidays. I highly recommend him for this position."

But what are these people praying for, "Uh, he was a good horse, he ran...fast. He liked hay." Get outta here. These people are have problems. I wasn't around when Mr. Ed died, but the sadness his death brought would have been understandable. He was funny. (With the help of Nick@Nite) He made me laugh.

People today are pathetic. I wish we would go back to the time of moustaches and knickerbockers. The horse would have died and been made into food and glue within 45 minutes of its demise.

Sorry for this rant, but the coverage on this subject is ridiculous. People are calling him a great athlete, he was a horse, running is what they do.

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Bob Dylan Sang the Classics

2007-01-27T18:01:00.000-05:00

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The Good Old Days

2007-01-25T23:11:00.000-05:00

Up until a few years ago I was a fanatical NHL fan, over the past few years though I've lost interest -- one reason the strike, another reason the watered down, no hitting or fighting, "New" NHL. My love for hockey started about the time I was in kindergarten, and I attended my first Flyers' game when I was in first grade -- they played the Oilers, I sat 4 rows from the ice, and the face value of the ticket was $21.00.

The purpose of the "New" NHL is to create new fans, but I figure people know hockey exist, and you either love or hate it. The coolest jerseys in the world, along with more powerplays, and making the game less violent isn't going to get new fans. We need hockey to go back to the mid 90's and earlier. I want: hard hits, battles for the puck in the corner and fights. Let me just say, as a student of hockey I know checking and fighting aren't the only parts of the game, but they are two very important parts of the game. The romans had the christians and the lions, let us have checks and fisticuffs.

Here's remembering the good ol' days:

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Ricky Gervais + Bible = Funny

2007-01-22T23:16:00.000-05:00

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Fair and Balance My Arse

2007-01-20T01:18:00.000-05:00

Fox News pretty much calls Barrack Obama a terrorist.

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We are No Longer Safe

2007-01-16T13:08:00.000-05:00

With the 4 hour premier of 24 airing yesterday and Sunday, the fiancee and myself are no longer safe. Coming late to the party as some would say, I started watching season 1 of 24 back in September, then with 4 episodes to go in season 2 Melissa join in on the JBPH. Now, four months later, 4 whole seasons in the bag, we are playing with a loaded gun. Not a loaded gun that shoots bullets, mind you, we are playing with a gun loaded with 24 spoilers.

The first couple of months had been easy. 24 was months away from premiering its 6th season, it wasn't really on anybody's mind. Then December came. Every time we turned on Fox, whether it was for the Simpsons, an Eagles game, or some other crap, we had to advert our eyes and scream to prevent ourselves from seeing an advertisement for 24. I like to think we were succesful in not viewing any unwanted spoilage, but I know deep in my heart that I saw things that were not meant for me to see.

Now, the first four hours of season six has premiered and we are just about to start Season 5 (if it weren't for the netflix's use of the USPS we would be up to date). The next few weeks are going to be hard. While we take in the glory that is and will be season five, the rest of the world is taking in the Bauerness that is season six. Our friends and family no not to say anything to us (I'm looking at you grandmom), but I'm more afraid of the accidental spoils. For example, a few minutes ago I was sitting at my cubicle minding my own damn business when I hear "Jack", "last night," "awesome." The insensitive twits on the other side of my cubicle were talking about 24. I wanted to yell, "SPOILER ALERT!", but instead I shoved my earbuds into my skull and frantically pushed play on my ipod. The sudden pain the loud music provided was a fine deterrent of the spoils, but I'm afraid.

I am afraid of what will happen when I'm at the gym and don't have my headphones when some punks start discussing Jack's latest killing spree, what I am suppose to do then. I would like to think I would react fast enough and drop the closest 45-pound plate on my head and knock myself out, but what if it takes too long to bludgeon myself unconscious?

The next few weeks will be a challenge, but a challenge, through the lessons learned from Jack Bauer, I welcome. I will shoot down and torture any possible spoiler like a dirty terrorist or a CTU mole. But being only a man, and not Jack Bauer, I have fears.

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Sweet Jebus!

2007-01-15T21:24:00.000-05:00

I really hope this is real. Ghostbusters video game.

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Wow. South Philly.

2007-01-14T23:39:00.000-05:00

This is only a few minutes away from my house. I wish I would have seen this live.

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Zombie's Halloween

2007-01-12T13:44:00.000-05:00

When you explain away Michael, giving him modern day serial killer hellish upbringing, you take away his power. He no longer represents a myth bigger than a person, he doesn't represent death incarnate. He's just an average psycho in a mask. There's nothing special to him anymore.

This review of Rob Zombie's "Halloween" script is very disappointing. Much like the reviewer, I was somewhat looking forward to the "re-imaging" of the Halloween movie. But if the script he reviewed is in fact the final script, this movie is going to bad.

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I HAVE THE POWER!!!!!!!!

2007-01-10T11:26:00.000-05:00

Comcast is my bitch. Allow me to explain: July, 2006, I become a home owner. Being the internet junkie that I am, and trying to save money, the fiancee and I forgo cable TV and just get broadband. Being in Philly we have one of two choices, the ever growing and evil Comcast, or the evil and ever growing Verizon. We go with Comcast simply because we have past experience with them.

Within a week of moving into our new home our internet is connected. Comcast, for the first 3 months will charge us $19.99 a month, after those 3 months it will be jacked up to the normal, one-service fee (meaning we don't have tv or phone through them) of 56 or so dollars a month, I'm not having that.

August. September. October.

It's three months later, a couple days before my $19.99 a month honeymoon comes to an end. I had this planned all along: I'm going to call Comcast and threaten to go to Verizon because they are offering their service for $34.99 a month. I call, I am transferred to a manager. A few minutes later I come out somewhat victorious:$34.99 a month, for the next 3 months.

November. December. January.

It's another 3 months later, yesterday. My $34.99 deal runs out at the beginning of next week, again I place a call to Comcast. I tell them I would like to cancel because Verizon has a better deal. The woman on the phone tells me, "Well, we already gave you $34.99 for three months, we can't give it to you again." I stick to my guns, I tell them to cancel it. My service with Comcast will end in five days. Fearing what life will be like without the internet, I immediately call Verizon. I setup everything, for $34.99 a month I am a new Verizon customer. Naked DSL, here I come.

Today, January 10, 2007. At about 10:30 AM, Eastern Standard time, I receive a call on my cell phone from a number I don't know. Being at work and not in the mood to be hassled I send it to my voice-mail. A few minutes later my phone vibrates , I have a new message. "You have one new message. *BEEP* Hi, this is blah-blah with Comcast, I'm just calling about your cancelled service. If you are interested, we are offering the low-price of $12.95. If you are interested please call me back at blah-blah-blah."

I contemplate waiting to call so I don't seem too interested, but I don't. Feeling like I just won a major award I immediatly call-back the "Account Specialist." A few minutes later I am the proud owner of boardband cable for $9.95 a month plus $3.00 modem rental for a year, yeah, that's right, your eyes did not fail you: one year.

I don't know how Comcast came to that figure, they must have recognized my powers of grayskull. How they went from $56.99 a month to $12.95 a month I don't know, maybe they saw me working out at the gym. Either way, I don't care, I'm the Pimp and Comcast works for me.

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Mr. Norris Continues to Amaze...Me

2007-01-09T10:11:00.000-05:00

What else could Chuck Norris want? He is a world famous movie star, tv star, cartoon star, super ninja figher -- who knew he was a comic book superhero?

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I Have No Voice

2007-01-08T08:20:00.000-05:00

That is right, I am another victim of screaming-at-the-top-of-my-lungs-for-several-hours-in-a-row. Why? M F'in Eagles playoff game, that is why! Don't ask again or I'll scream a warm mist of nothing in your face.

Sitting only 4 rows from the highest peak of Lincoln field, one must scream as loud and as often and as loud as they can to create a sufficient amount of noise to energize their beloved Eagles player. Many-a-fan yell encouraging words, "Come on boys, turn it up!" Some enthusiasts prefer to make it personal, "I love you Westbrook!" Myself though, being a man of logic, I says: Being 3 miles into the sky, the participants in the sporting event below can't here you. Therefore, I yell gibberish, complete nonsense. Sure, people in the area may give funny looks, but I blame it on the lack of oxygen due to our extreme distances from the ground.

Try yelling nonsense at the next sporting event, or if you are feeling adventurous, the next play or ballet you attended. Yell: "Bag of bitches!((c)Joe)", "Keeping it real like Ron Popeil((c)Joe)!", "Farm animals are fun!", "Me, You and Dupree!", "Stab him with something!", "Punch him in the ear!", and "I hate Jesus and Jesus hates me!". Now, come up with your own nonsense phrases, it's fun!

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I Love Wikipedia

2007-01-04T09:37:00.000-05:00

Project A119, or "A Study of Lunar Research Flights" was a 1950s top-secret plan developed by the United States Air Force with the intention of dropping an atomic bomb on the Moon. It is presumed that the purpose of such an action would be to display U.S. superiority to the Soviet Union and the rest of the world during the Cold War.

Project A119

What! Were they for real? I've heard some cockamamie ideas before, but...WHAT! At least they were being creative.

"Yes Mr. President, if we drop an atomic bomb on the moon we will show those commies just how ballsy we really are." "The a-bomb you say," said the president, "I like your thinking, Shaffer. You are a real "go getter." That's what we need more of today, "real go getters."" Shaffer replied, "Thanks, sir. I just figure it was sort of fun and interesting when we blew up some of Japan..." "Yeah, it was." Said the President. "And we Americans really like fireworks. So not only will we show how strong we are as a nation, dropping the an atomic bomb on the moon will be giant fireworks explosion. A 2 for 1 deal." The President replied, "Shaffer, I see a bright future in your future." "Thank you, Sir."

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Odds and N's

2007-01-03T08:10:00.000-05:00

I spent the last week sitting in a secluded section of my home celebrating my Christmas vacation. Using only four official vacation days I was able to squeeze out an 11 day weekend. I also had some help from President Ford, thanks to his death I was given an extra day off. I couldn't have done it without you big guy.

I hope everyone had a nice holiday. The floor around my Christmas tree gave the impression that several kids live in my home. That impression though would be one of great falsitude, the only kid in the house goes by the name of Geoff, and he is 25. Highlights from my presents, cue the music...Notorious B.I.G. figure, Shaun from Shaun of the Dead figure, numerous Batman figures, and a graphic novel which I am still waiting to get, though.

On a more serious subject...Last night we put our Christmas tree to sleep. He was a handsome little guy, he was our first. It was a tear-jerking night as we removed each ornament one-by-one...he was really brave. Since I am the strongest person in the house I was given the honor of taking him out to the sidewalk. It was really hard to see him like that, he was just laying there. Just a few hours before he was bright and colorful, and all Christmasy. We will miss him. We put all of his loose pines in a baggy, we are going to scatter them at the stroke of midnight next Christmas.

With the help of sleep I forgot the prior day's depressing events. So you can understand when why I threw-up out of horror when I saw the sidewalk lined with Christmas tree corpses. My neighbor at least had the decency to wrap his in plastic and tape like a mafia hit.

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Merry Christmas!

2006-12-24T13:16:00.000-05:00

For the last installment of the Classic Christmas Cartoon Count Down I present to you: Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer.

I hope you have a good Christmas, and I hope you didn't stand inline for an hour-and-a-half for cannoli like I did.

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Christmas Eve with DOOM

2006-12-22T23:12:00.001-05:00

Be there...

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Classic Christmas Cartoon Day 22!

2006-12-22T22:49:00.001-05:00

A Family Circus Christmas

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Snow Globe God

2006-12-22T08:25:00.000-05:00

Shake the hell out of the snow globe. I said SHAKE!!!

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Classic Christmas Cartoon Day 21!

2006-12-21T22:46:00.000-05:00

Pinky and the Brain - Christmas Special

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Classic Christmas Cartoon Day 20!

2006-12-20T23:23:00.000-05:00

The Year Without a Santa Claus

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Classic Christmas Cartoon Day 19!

2006-12-20T08:07:00.000-05:00

Tiny Toon Adventures-It's A Wonderful Tiny Toons Christmas Special

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Everytime a Bell Rings...

2006-12-19T13:10:00.001-05:00

It's a Wonderful Internet

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Classic Christmas Cartoon Day 18!

2006-12-18T23:03:00.000-05:00

One of my favorites...OOOOoooooooh...Garfield Christmas Special

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Classic Cartoon Day 17!

2006-12-17T23:04:00.000-05:00

No witty intro... Ace Ventura Pet Detective - The Reindeer Hunter

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Classic Christmas Cartoon Day 16!

2006-12-16T17:58:00.000-05:00

Alvin And The Chipmunks: A Chipmunk Christmas Bad Santa

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Classic Christmas Cartoon Day 15? ha.

2006-12-15T18:52:00.000-05:00

It should be the 15th day of the Christmastime Joy Maker, but it isn't.

Today's installment, Life With Louie Christmas

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Schweaty Balls Christmas Balls

2006-12-15T09:56:00.001-05:00


I love some nice, round Schweaty Balls.

This Makes Christmas Sad

2006-12-15T08:48:00.000-05:00

I just read this, so should you. Here are some awful,Christmas themed, one-panel comic strips. They are just as funny as that awfulness that is Marmaduke. It really upsets me that someone created these comics.

Also, the videos will be updated today. I had some trouble with my internet at home. You can expect one sometime after 5.

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Santa + Zombies= Another Christmastime Classic

2006-12-13T10:06:00.000-05:00

The Last Christmas

After the apocalypse, no one is safe; not even at the North Pole. After tragedy strikes, Santa withdraws from life and turns his back on Christmas. When he finally emerges from seclusion, the old world is gone forever, and as Santa struggles to find his way in a post-apocalyptic world, can he find a way to save Christmas too?

I need to check this out. Written by comedian Brian Posehn, and including elements of Christmas, Santa, ZOMBIES!!!, and a post-apocalypic world, how could this graphic novel not be incredible?

P.S. Rankin and Bass need to buy the rights and make a Christmas special out of it.

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How Much for that Santa with the Beard?

2006-12-13T08:47:00.000-05:00

Santaforhire.com

Providing Real Bearded Santa Claus Nationwide

You can even check out their stock. They have a nice selection. I think when I get old I going to be a "real bearded Santa."

via Uncommon Business

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Classic Christmas Cartoon Day 11!

2006-12-12T21:57:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I know I am a day behind. Sorry. I was, I am doing Christmas Stuff, WHAMMY! (c)Joel.

Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey

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A Zach Braff Christmas

2006-12-10T23:05:00.000-05:00

Charlie Brown Christmas - Performed by the Cast of Scrubs

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Classic Christmas Cartoon Day 10!

2006-12-10T22:59:00.000-05:00

I posted this last year, but it deserves to be post again. It is one of my favorites. I've always wanted to have a snowball fight that was more than a fight... bon appetite: Donald Duck's Snowball war

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Classic Christmas Cartoon Day 9!

2006-12-10T10:46:00.002-05:00

Sorry for the delay. Smurfs' Christmas Special

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Classic Christmas Cartoon Day 8!

2006-12-08T23:59:00.000-05:00

I've never seen this on before, MGM A Pup's Christmas

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Ding, Ding

2006-12-08T08:13:00.000-05:00

The question I am about ask and answer, has been answered and asked numerous times throughout the ages. Who's better, Santa or Jesus?

Facial Hair:
Santa, he sports a most wonderful fluffy beard of white. It is as if he held up a cloud and stole its baby.
Jesus, his beard appears to be grown out of laziness. He looks like a damn hippie. Plus, I think it might smell.

Winner: Santa

Fashion Sense:
Santa knows what looks good on him. He wears his red suit, the suit does not wear him. His color coordination is impeccable, red hat with white trim, red top-thing with white trim, black leather belt, black leather boots -- elf tailors kick ass. Not only is red suit stylin', it is also very practical for those Arctic days and nights.

Jesus, he wears sandals and a white shaw, throw thing. I don't know about then, but it just doesn't work now. We should just be thankful he doesn't wear socks.

Winner: Santa

Mode of Transportation:
Santa, rocks a physics defying Sleigh.

Jesus, drives a mule. (I don't think he is even trying)

Winner: Santa

Last Seen:
Santa, in the mall this past weekend.

Jesus, on a dog's ass.

Winner: Santa

It's conclusive, Santa does and loves to kick Jesus' ass everyday of the week. And just in case you don't believe me: more evidence

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Classic Cartoon Day 7!

2006-12-07T22:28:00.000-05:00

I usually like to watch these before I post them. I watched the first half-hour, but then 24 happened.

I love how these Rankin & Bass productions always start with a real life news report, it gives it that oh-so-real feeling.

For your viewing pleasure: Santa Claus is Coming to Town

P.S.
We just had our first snow fall of the season, albeit flurries, it was still snow and it was falling and it was the first of this Christmastime season.

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Classic Christmas Cartoon Day 6!

2006-12-06T22:57:00.000-05:00

He came to town one day...no introduction needed.

Frosty the Snowman

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Santa Claws

2006-12-06T12:56:00.000-05:00

As Christmas nears, Austrian children hoping for gifts from Santa Claus will also be watching warily for "Krampus," his horned and hairy sidekick.

Whole Story

Austria, first Hitler, now this guy? You better stop terrorizing the world.

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Classic Christmas Cartoon Day 5!

2006-12-05T23:14:00.000-05:00

If you are a talking bear that lives inside a tree, chances are, other talking animals live inside other trees. So, Papa Bear, stop being a terrorist; just because you want a Christmas tree doesn't mean you can chop down somebody's home.

here ya go, Berenstein Bears Christmas Tree

Question: What is your favorite Classic Christmas Cartoon?

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Calvin and Hobbes and Christmas

2006-12-05T10:15:00.000-05:00

My favorite comic strip ever. Calvin and Hobbes is especially great during Christmas.

source

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Classic Christmas Cartoon Day 4!

2006-12-04T20:04:00.000-05:00

Today's installment of CCC features a cartoon I remember, but not this particular Christmas themed episode. This Back to the Future cartoon episode starts out in the dead of summer, everyone, including the Doc's 2 son (yes, the doc has kids in this for some sick reason), is complaining about the heat. One horrible pun takes them back to Charles Dickens' England during Christmas. Within 2 minutes of arriving "back to the future" the keys to the Delorean are stolen, the Doc's wife is sent to prison, and the Doc's kids are kidnapped. Moral of the story: Don't travel back in time.

Enjoy, Back to the Future - Dicken's of a Christmas

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Santa, Hates?

2006-12-04T10:38:00.000-05:00

Now this picture of Santa makes sense.

Miniature wooden Santa figures were removed from Rossmann stores, a German retail chain, after customers claimed they looked like they were giving the outlawed Hitler salute.

Whole Story

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It Will Eat You Alive

2006-12-04T07:59:00.000-05:00

Christmas is a big, garish, sprawling, devour-everything-in-its-path monster of a holiday. And thank goodness.

Whole Story

I'm Geoff and I approve of this message. Christmas should be like your great aunt Glenda's jewelry box: Big, shiny, and a lot. The way I see it, you can never have too much decoration. Christmas decorations should be a giant mess of electric, plastic, pine, and inflatable Grinches.

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Classic Christmas Cartoon Day 3!

2006-12-03T12:54:00.000-05:00

In a world where every human has a mouse counter part, where everyone, including adult mice and people, write letters to Santa. In a world where Old Saint Nick is a grudge holding bitch, where each member of the only black family in town has an afro. In a world where a mouse calls the north pole stating that he is "Father Mouse," and demands to speak with an Amish bearded Santa. I present to you: Twas the Night Before Christmas

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Classic Christmas Cartoon Day 2!

2006-12-02T15:40:00.000-05:00

Today's "The Happy Happy Christmastime Joy Maker, Classic Christmas Cartoon" features the most incompetent special agent, the half brother of Jack Bauer, yeah, I am talking about Inspector Gadget.

In this Christmas themed episode Dr. Claw is posing as Santa Claus, or Claws, and if I'm not mistaken, Gadget falls for it. Don't hate him, he is retarded.

Inspector Gadget Saves Christmas

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Classic Christmas Cartoon!

2006-12-01T21:52:00.000-05:00

Okay. I met with the board members and we voted in favor, 9-1, to introduce a new happy happy Christmastime joy maker. Actually, this blog is ran like Cuba, and I am Castro. What I says goes, and what I say is: During this Christmastime season, everyday this blog will feature a CLASSIC CHRISTMAS CARTOON! If you pissed your pants it is okay, it's a symptom of this much excitement.

So, with out further adieu I present CLASSIC CHRISTMAS CARTOON day one: Animaniacs Christmas Special

The Happy Happy Christmastime Joy Maker, Classic Christmas Cartoon will be uploaded everyday sometime after 5pm est. Be there or be there.

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A Great Holiday Tradition

2006-12-01T07:57:00.000-05:00

If you want to be cool and christmasy like me, you need to get on this, the X-entertainment Advent Calendar. Nothing says Christmas like Playmobil, Legos, and death.

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Lights! Lights! Lights!

2006-11-30T07:51:00.000-05:00

Use the christmas webcams to view live images of 15,000 christmas lights and also CONTROL them - heck, you can even inflate (or deflate) the giant Elmo, Frosty, Santa, and Homer Simpson - D'OH! The webcams are online 7x24 from Thanksgiving to January 1st and you annoy the neighbors by turning stuff on & off from 1700 to 2200 MST (GMT-7). Plus you can send "Instant Messages via Webcam" for everyone to see. HO HO HO! ;-)

Control zee Lights!

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Santa is Tired of Sharing

2006-11-29T09:43:00.000-05:00

North Pole, Top of the World (AP)-- "I am tired of sharing. I want the spotlight to myself. Ho, ho, ho." Santa told this to reporters after reveling that he is trying to literally take the Christ out of Christmas. Today, Santa petitioned the "powers that be" to remove Jesus and all Jesus related things from Christmas. "I have done more for Christmas than that lazy, peace-loving hippie has. Supposedly it's his birthday, that's the only thing he has done for Christmas. Ho-ho-ho!"

Father Christmas is motioning to remove nativities, the celebration of the god-man's birthday, and Jesus related songs. He is making one exception, the name "Christmas," Santa likes the name Christmas. "Nobody goes to the mall to sit on Jesus' lap, they go to the mall to sit on my lap. Ho, ho, ho. Nowadays, he is an after thought. The order goes: Me, presents, decorations, tree, cookies, A Charlie Brown Christmas, Jesus. I am just making it easier for people.Ho, ho, ho."

A hearing will be held next week. The Judges are asking both Santa and Jesus to be present.

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Christmas On Wax

2006-11-28T13:49:00.000-05:00

If you only have gigs of Christmas music, check out this site for some good ol' fashion vinyl...recorded to a computer.

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When It's On It's On

2006-11-28T07:54:00.000-05:00

A Charlie Brown Christmas is on tonight @ 8EST!!! Although I feel it is a bit early for such a great Christmas special, hell, at least it is coming on.

Hidden within this link is your holiday TV guide. All of the favorites are there and some non-favorites.

Schedule accordingly.

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It's...Most...of...Year

2006-11-27T08:35:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, the fiancee and I jumped on the subway and headed uptown to Center City. I had to hit up the Barnes and Noble, I was returning a comic book for a comic book; that's how well read I am, deal with it! Although the weather could have been crisper, even colder, I noticed something. After passing all of the fancy-smanchy store-fronts on Walnut St: Kenneth Cole, Urban Outfitters, Diesel, Lucky Brand,... McDonald's, I noticed one thing.

It's M'EFFIN' CHRISTMASTIME, BITCHES!!! (I had help with the colors)

I was going to wait until the first to start this jamboree, but, I have to admit, I am too damn excited!!! If I weren't working, in a public area, I would be streaking.
Instead of hanging out with friends like normal young couples, Meliss and I went to the craft store, Home Depot, and Target to get some Christmas decor. It is slowly going up. I just need to figure out how to hang lights from bricks.

So here's to the beginning of a wonderful Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus, Winter Solstice, Holiday, winter season. Cheers.

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Happy Thanksgiving

2006-11-22T10:12:00.000-05:00

Test your turkey day knowledge

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I Thought Being Colorblind was Rough

2006-11-21T14:54:00.000-05:00

They can see your eyes, your nose, your mouth – and still not recognize your face. Now scientists say people with prosopagnosia may help unlock some of the deepest mysteries of the brain.

Face Blind

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One on One with Scooter the Muppet Baby

2006-11-21T10:23:00.000-05:00

In an exclusive, all-you-can-eat interview, Scooter the Muppet Baby breaks the very long, and awkward silence concerning what really happened in that room.

Geliophobia: What really happened in that nursery?

Scooter: Lots of horrible things...

G: Like?

S: We were locked in 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We had no working bathroom, so we used the floor.

G: The stench, it must have been rancid.

S: It was. And Animal the Muppet baby, being the feral thing that he was, would roll around in our collection of poo. It was awful.

G: No, doubt about it. Tell me, what are you?

S: A science experiment gone wrong. We all were. Nanny and her friends were trying to make super hybrid humanimals. I was a combination of a human and...and...I think...a sponge. Needless to say, in the eyes of Nanny and company, we were complete failures. Take Gonzo the Muppet baby, he was a combination of a weirdo and a silly straw.

G: You mention Nanny, what can you tell us about her?

S:...

G: It's okay, take a deep breath.

S:...

G: Take your time.

S: ...She, she was a wonderfully awful woman. She had us believe she was our friend, she had us believe she cared and loved us. She told us she loved us so much that she had to not feed us, not bath us. She said her love was so strong that's why she punched us, kicked us, and cut pieces of our body to sample. She said love is pain. She said it was okay that...that she touched me where I pee....

G: Oh, god. That is awful.

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Bauer and Gadget, Womb-mates

2006-11-17T08:22:00.000-05:00

According to my research: Inspector Gadget is Jack Bauer's retarded, half, part machine, brother. I haven't been conducting this study for several years, months, or even days. I thought of it while I was walking to the bathroom. Also, there was actually no studying involved. And you may ask yourself, "well...how did I get here?" I would immediately ask you to stop quoting the Talking Heads because, this is an entry about Jack Bauer's and Inspector Gadget's blood relation.

Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, I present to you: Bauer and Gadget; Same Ma, different Pa.

1. CTU & MCPD

Much like the Hanson Brothers from the movie SLAPSHOT, whom share a common love for hockey, brothers, Bauer and Gadget share a common love: law enforcement. Yes, I know this is a weak point. Just because they are both special agents for the law doesn't mean they are brothers. If you would allow me to stop interrupting myself I will present more evidence.

2. Dr. Claw and Other Terrorist

Inspector Gadget and Jack aren't your normal, everyday, pull-over-this-guy-for-speeding cops. They are saviors of the civilized world. They deal with the baddest of the badasses. Dr. Claw has 3 goals in life: 1. Kill Gadget. 2. Take over the world. 3. Kill Gadget, again. Doesn't that sound very similar to season one of 24?! Jack's family was kidnapped just because an accented Dennis Hopper had a vendetta against Jack -- He was pissed that Jack killed him. I say stop bitchin', he must have not killed you good enough. Mr. Hopper was using Jack's family to lure him into his evil dockside lair so he could kill him. Guess what, Jack didn't die, not even for a second. Jack is almost immortal, Gadget is half robot; they can't be stopped.

3. In and Out Like Sauerkraut

No hideout, base, compound, house, prison, or villainous complex is too difficult for Gadget or Bauer to infiltrate. Whether Bauer drives a van through the building or Gadget accidentally wonders into the place. No matter what the situation is, they get in and handle they biz.

4. Happy Boss Day

Although, I would argue both are unbossable, bossless, they receive orders from someone. In season two of 24, George Mason gave Jack orders, sort of. And Gadget's Boss, Chief Quimby, shows up at the beginning of every episode to give the Inspector "suggestions" for what he should do that episode. But because Gadget and Bauer hate being bossed around so much, they just kill those who boss them. Again, in season two, Jack was so pissed that Mason was telling him what to do, Jack placed George in a nuclear laden plane and told him to crash it into the ground. BALLIN! Inspector Gadget loathed Quimby like no other, Gadget blew him up every show, just because he wanted to, with the "self-destructing" message.

5. Failure to Abort

Even though they are not fit to raise kids in this crazy world because they are too involved with their careers, they both have daughters. Kim and Penny. They are destine to be on an episode of Dr. Phil.

Dr. Phil (to Kim): Because of your father, you have been kidnapped several times, by the same people. Lost in the woods with Johnny Drama, and your mom died?

Kim (sobbing): Yes

Dr. Phil (to Penny): Your dad, he has a helicopter in his hat?

Penny (sobbing): Yes, well, it's not really whole helicopter, just the propeller...

Dr. Phil: And he can fly with it?

Penny (sobbing harder): Yes

And they both have blond hair. You can't deny genetics.

In conclusion, please, do not take this study lightly. It is the most serious subject that I have ever been serious about. The facts I have present throughout this essay are facts, not fables or folklore, cold hard, tell-it-to-your-mama facts. If you can't understand the logic I used to prove that Jack Bauer and Inspector Gadget came from the womb, I would suggested calling the grade school you attended and ask if you can come back.

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How Would Batman Vote (HWBV)?

2006-11-16T12:49:00.000-05:00

Although vote day was last week, I present this little gem.

Batman is a true independent, a man of solid principles and baffling contradictions. This may be because he is mentally ill. Batman has an almost paranoid distrust of government institutions, yet believes in the rule of law. He’s an urban vigilante, yet he’s a proponent of gun control. Batman is anti-death penalty to a fault – how many times has he had to capture the mass-murdering Joker and return him to Arkham Asylum instead of the electric chair? Contradictions be damned.

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Hate and Hate Alike

2006-11-15T15:20:00.000-05:00

If you share the same thoughts and feelings as I do, then you too hate that shit-tacular comic-strip "Marmaduke". Why hasn't this dog died of canine cancer yet? Why hasn't the creator of this strip been stricken with the most painful case of carpal tunnel syndrome, or been kicked in the head until he agreed to quit making the awfulness.

I don't have any answer to the questions above but here is a fun site to take away the pain.

I seriously loathe this dog. Nothing about the strip is funny. I have laughed more at funerals than I have at this crap.

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Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, But Swords Sort of Hurt

2006-11-13T14:52:00.000-05:00

(**alert to my readers. This is just a test, I'm trying a service that pays me to post about their products. I am just trying to see if it's for real. If all goes well I will get $4 for this post. Go me.**)

It was 1888, England and it's people were too occupied with Jack the Ripper to notice anything. They were so enthralled with Jack and his ripping, they failed to notice the ghastly battle between the Ninjas and the Zombies.

The Ninjas, with their stealthiness and their swords, and the Zombies, with their rigor mortis, and hunger for brains, were battling for supremacy of the Internet. You ask, "How were they battling over supremacy of the Internet, when this event occurred in 1888?" I will tell you...

During the mid-medieval times, a great samurai came down from the heavens upon a giant wooden sword. He came down and told the Ninjas of the most wonderful land of the future known as the Internet. He told them of the fame and glory they would receive from the Internet. The Ninjas grew excited from this news, they couldn't wait for the future. They imagined all the swords they could buy with all of their fame and glory. But the wise, time traveling, sword mastering man warned them it would not be that easy. He told them of a great, undead warrior known as the Zombies.

He told the Ninjas they would have to battle the undead to the death for complete rule of the Internet. The great warrior told them to use their swords swiftly to destroy the brain. The Ninjas said they would...

Recently, today, the Zombies took away the Ninja's swords and are now known as: Zombies with swords!

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Hodge Podge for $300

2006-11-13T08:07:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone had a happy Geoff birthday weekend. I know I did...With me turning one year older, a quarter century to be exact, it got me thinking, "This cake is good. I wonder who first celebrated birthdays."

According to wikipedia:

It is thought that the large-scale celebration of birthdays in Europe began with the cult of Mithras, which originated in Persia but was spread by soldiers throughout the Roman Empire. Before this, such celebrations were not common; and, hence, practices from other contexts such as the Saturnalia were adapted for birthdays. Because many Roman soldiers took up Mithraism, it had a wide distribution and influence throughout the empire until it was supplanted by Christianity.

Birthday celebrations were rare during the Middle Ages but saw a resurgence with the advent of the Reformation. During this period, they were seen as a good way to transfer customs from the saint's days to other dates not linked to the newly repudiated veneration of saints.

Let's hear it for the middle ages!

Even today, the celebration of birthdays is not universal in the West; in addition to those people preferring name day celebrations, Jehovah's Witnesses do not celebrate either, considering them to be pagan festivals along with Christmas and Easter.

Jehovies always ruining a good time. Thanks a lot J-hova.

Also, a new The Simpsons movie trailer premiered last night during The Simpsons. I am a big fan of Homer and his family, I have been since first grade. I have only caught two episodes this season because in recent years, at times, it is hard to watch. Last night I laughed a few times, but I feel they are trying too hard.

The Simpsons Trailer

I laughed at the dead rabbit, and the rock and a hard place gag. I'm not sure how to feel about this movie. I hope it is quality and not embarrassing.

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Who Wears Short Shorts

2006-11-09T14:52:00.000-05:00

Reno 911 Movie Trailer

I can't wait to see this. Awesome.

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Mmmmm...Japanese Dishwashing Detergent

2006-11-08T13:49:00.000-05:00

Get you very own Mr. Sparkle box (it's a link to a pdf, a fold-em-up-job type of thing).

MR. SPARKLE!

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Jack and Me

2006-11-06T09:54:00.000-05:00

During the last month and half, while I was posting Halloween related entries, something, someone entered my life. That something: 24 (the tv show), that someone: Jack Bauer (the man).

Yes. I admit, I am a bit late. About 5 years late, but I don't care. There is no reason for me not partaking the Jack Bauer Power Hour for the last 5 years. I knew it was on, I knew it was good. Members of my family watched it, my friends watched it. I really don't know why I didn't give it a shot earlier. Maybe I didn't want to succumb to the hype. Maybe deep-down-inside I was scared I would love this f'in show like a crackhead loves crack.

Now, since mid September I have been playing catch up. My goal is watch all 5 season of 24 in time for the January, season 6 premier. They said it would be impossible, "Unless that man were a god, watching 5 seasons of one show in 4 or less months is insane. Not to mention the mental anguish that mere man would go through. The sleepless nights, the hunger filled days, the urine soaked pants! Complete madness I tell you. Madness!" Well, after my grandmom told me this I requested that she be committed to a hospital because of her lack of faith in Geoff's Mang!

But I digress...

Since I have been watching 24, I feel I have lost touch with reality. I tune into the news waiting to hear President Palmer speak ( I know, I know, I have a hunch he isn't president anymore but, please, please don't ruin it for me), or to hear LA is being threaten by radioactive squirrels (wink). I now want to be just like Jack. I want to yell at people, really loud, "sit down!" I want to tell a co-worker an outlandish story, but tell them there is no time to explain. "I just had to assume the identity of jesus while birthing a camel, but there is no time to explain." I want to be Jack.

Some people have said that I've gone insane, when in fact, I have gone outsane by shooting insane in the knee, and breaking the Pope's neck with a scissor-leg-lock.

I will keep you updated with my progress. As of today: 2 season down, 3 seasons to go. I will start season 3 sometime this week.

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ZOMBIE!!! FRIDAY!

2006-11-03T11:13:00.000-05:00

As long as I can find content I think I may keep during ZOMBIE!!! FRIDAY!.

And now for the outcome of a high scientific test I took:

I knew it all along. I just wish some ZOMBIES!!! would run up on me. I just wish!

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Ha-Ha (c) Nelson

2006-11-03T11:03:00.000-05:00

What do Talentless, Garbage, and a picture of poop have to do with Kevin Federline's (mrs. spears hubby) new album? Check out the tags for his album on amazon.com

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Tell Them What They Won!

2006-11-02T11:19:00.000-05:00

My blog is worth...

My blog is worth $1,693.62.
How much is your blog worth?

I didn't think it would be worth anything. I wish I could cash that in.

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Halloween Round-up (picture style)

2006-11-02T08:47:00.000-05:00

Here is the complete collection of Halloween pictures from this year.

I am lacking pictures from my part because I assumed Melissa was going to be the picture taker. But, instead of using my newer 7MEGA PIXEL camera she used her older 5 mp camera. That is the reason for the lack of party pictures.

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Take a Look

2006-11-01T20:49:00.000-05:00

Raw footage of 28 Weeks Later (sequel to 28 Days Later)

Looks promising.

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First Non-Halloween Post in a Decade!

2006-11-01T09:18:00.000-05:00

Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

My favorite:

You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

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The World is Ending...Halloween Style

2006-10-31T13:53:00.001-05:00

Thanks to Will

I just bought this sweet t-shirt:

It has ZOMBIES!!!, vampires, bats, and dinos. What else do you need on a t-shirt.

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HAPPY HALLOWEEN

2006-10-31T08:06:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone has a great Halloween.

Here are some classic scary stories so you can do this ish correctly.

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CCCD: Almost There

2006-10-30T15:24:00.000-05:00

Well, we have one day left! I don't have anything interesting, or funny to add. I think I burned myself out by starting the countdown too soon. Next year I won't start until the first of October. I had grand ideas of Halloween entries each and every day, but a week and half ago I realized I was running out of ideas. It was fun while it lasted.

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CCCD: ZOMBIE!!! Friday!

2006-10-27T11:49:00.000-04:00

I little doodle I did for everyone's enjoyment. Enjoy. I said ENJOY!

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CCCD: Dracula Hated Calculus

2006-10-26T14:55:00.000-04:00

Vampires a Mathematical Impossibility, Scientist Says

Efthimiou's debunking logic: On Jan 1, 1600, the human population was 536,870,911. If the first vampire came into existence that day and bit one person a month, there would have been two vampires by Feb. 1, 1600. A month later there would have been four, and so on. In just two-and-a-half years the original human population would all have become vampires with nobody left to feed on.

I didn't realize there was a great vampire debate. This guy is obvisouly wrong.

J/k's all around.

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CCCD: A Look into the Past

2006-10-25T15:29:00.000-04:00

Check out this old Micky D's Halloween themed commerical.
McDonalds Halloween Commercial

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Poor nuggets, they didn't know what was coming.

The Simpsons - Halloween Special XI

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I didn't realize myspace had videos like this.

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CCCD: ZOMBIE!!! Friday!

2006-10-20T10:52:00.000-04:00

Here is a simple but ZOMBIE!!!-lishious game. In Zombie 4 you are a blue dot (it might be purple), you have a gun and you kill the yellow dots (they might be green). The yellow and or green dots infect the blue and or purple dots making the zombies and or yellow and or green dots.

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Have a Crazy, Psycho, Crazed Halloween

2006-10-19T13:07:00.000-04:00

With the Halloween season under way, mental health advocates have a simple request:

Scare people with ghouls and goblins. Fill your haunted house with trap doors and tombstones. But leave out the "psychiatric wards," the "insane asylums" and the bloodthirsty killers in straitjackets.

The Whole demented, deranged, dingy, dippy, erratic, flaky, flipped, flipped out, haywire, idiotic, insane, kooky, lunatic, mad, maniacal, mental*, nuts, nutty, psycho, screw loose, screwball, screwy,unbalanced, unglued, unhinged, unzipped, wacky, whacko Article

What is going on! We are going backwards in time, we are heading to the 50's. It is Halloween people! Maniacs are scary. You know why? Because they kill people, and eat people. How many haunted houses or haunted hayrides have you gone to that feature the ghastly room of the DEPRESSED!Oh, no! The depressed people are so scary, hurry, don't let them...depress you! Get a life. Norman Bates, Michael Myers, Dr. Lecture -- SCARY PSYCHOPATHS! Terrell Owens, the man talking to himself on Syder Ave, My Dad -- unscary mental patients.

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CCCD: This Means War...with Pumpkin Tactics

2006-10-19T12:50:00.000-04:00

Last night, between the hours of seven and eleven PM, our pumpkin was stolen. The pumpkin was located next to a bale of hay in front of my South Philadelphia row home. At this time there are no witnesses; the evil doer(s) remain at large.

So, my question is how do I get back at them. I am assuming it was some punk or punks. Should I just wait until Halloween to put out my other pumpkins, or should I put out another one and booby-trap it? I'm thinking: I put out another and cover it in vaseline and hide tiny pins in it. Do you have any suggestions?

Funny thing is, we were going to throw that pumpkin out this upcoming trash day. It had a pumpkin form of blood bleeding legions, with a side of AIDS. Stupid punks.

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CCCD: Hocus Pocus Haiku

2006-10-18T10:31:00.000-04:00

I wanted to write about a Halloween guilty pleasure of mine: Hocus Pocus. I know what you're thinking, "What is that smell?," but I know what else you are thinking, "You say you are a horror fan, how the hell can you like Hocus Pocus." Well, Reader, I do. Hocus Pocus came out during a very delicate time in my life, I was about 12; not a kid, not a grown up. I needed something real in my life, something to make me say, "Yes! I am a live!" Hocus Pocus was that something. How couldn't it be? It had Witches, an English speaking cat, a Zombie, the kid from Eerie, Indian, the girl with the big kick from Ladybugs, what more could you ask for? It also had that Halloween feel. I don't know how to explain it but it had it. So, without further ado, here is me paying homage with a haiku:

Bette Midler, witch bitch

virgin lights black flame candle

near apocalypse

If you share the same love for Hocus Pocus check out this page.

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CCCD: The Pumpkin King

2006-10-17T13:56:00.000-04:00

Man's Halloween obsession: scary or just all in fun?

Griffith has carved a total of 25,798 pumpkins since 1978. As the number of pumpkins he attempted to carve each year multiplied, more and more volunteers have been needed to help.

I'm no pumpkin expert, but that is a whole lotta pumpkins!

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CCCD: Costume Idears

2006-10-16T19:11:00.000-04:00

Consumers will drop an estimated $4.96 billion on Halloween this season, up significantly from $3.29 billion a year ago...If all those dollar signs give you the creeps, don't fret. If you're creative, there are plenty of ways to look great on Halloween without spending much...Here are a few more ideas for costumes made from finds around the house:
Train engineer- Hot-glue the paper plate to the front of the tunic.
Mommy's Little Mummy - or use toilet paper
Puppy - Add "dog ears" to a wool watch cap,
Crazy Hair Dudes and Gals - Glob on hair gel to sweep your child's hair straight up
Nighty Nite - Put comfy PJs on your child
Tannenbaum - Dress your child in a green sweatshirt and sweatpants. Attach holiday ornaments to the sweats...

Whole Cheap-ass Article

I am all for being thrifty when it comes to making Halloween costumes, you are reading words from a man who bought a woman's pant suit from Ross for his Michael Jackson costume, but these ideas are horrible. I realize that these are costume ideas for kids, kids of poor, child loathing parents, but for christ sake, put some thought in to these maaaaan! Unless your goal is to have your kid killed the next day in school, then, by all means dress your kid as a Tannenbaum (WTF!), or Crazy Hair Dudes and Gals. But if you are just a horribly uncreative, "Oh, well I read in Today's Woman you should do this" parent and you don't want your child dead, then here are some cheap, ghoulishly great costume ideas.

Internal Bleeding Man/Woman - give your kid a pale complexion using some white make-up, then insert several blood capsules into their mouth and tell them to bite. Tell them to add some gargling sounds, and BAM! Your kid is bleeding-out, internally. For added gore add some fake blood streaming from the ear. Nothing says internal bleeding more than a bloody ear canal.

Stumpy - place your kid in a one-size-too-big, white, button up dress shirt. Sew the sleeve hole of weak hand closed. Add some stuffing, (eg. newspaper, other clothes) to said sleeve hole to avoid the This-is-just-a-hand-not-stump look. Proceed to saturate stump in fake blood. Add white make-up for blood loss complexion. Fin.

Original Night of the Living Dead Zombie - Similar to Internal Bleeding person, but so different. Put white make-up on face for the pale, recently deceased look, THEN use darker make up (blue or black) to shade contours of cheeks, and to darken under the eyes. Blood is optional.

And if you need more ideas watch this.

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CCCD: ZOMBIE!!! Friday!

2006-10-13T08:28:00.000-04:00

Edited for*ZOMBIE UPDATE*:The Simpson's ZOMBIE!!!game!

Have fun killing ZOMBIE!!! Ned, and ZOMBIE!!! Shakespeare!

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Thanks to Will, again.

What do you when you have a plane, take away the snakes and add ZOMBIES!!!?

You have Plane Dead.

They should rename it Flight of the Living Dead, or good ole' fashion ZOMBIES!!! on a Plane. ZoaP!

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So you want to be a ZOMBIE!!! Here is a nice guide to being a zombie. I like this idea:

If you were in the ground, you had to get out, right? Sooo ... bury your clothing. Preferably in muddy ground. Leave them to soak for awhile; a few days is nice, a week even better. Pull the mess out, and allow them to dry somewhere naturally - we want to encourage a nice colony of mildew. Yes - it will be gross to wear. But you'll have that nice, loamy, acrid smell and an authentic start on your costume. I've done this - it looks great.

Make sure to check out the links to the right for other ZOMBIErefic!!! things.

P.S. Happy Friday the 13th.

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CCCD: Halloween of Yester-Year

2006-10-12T14:19:00.000-04:00

Here are is a what is a are is are a variety of vintage Halloween pictures.

Be sure to check out the creepy group photo from a Halloween party circa 1919. Creepy ass olde tymee people. Why were people made so creepy looking back then, they creep me out. Bunch of creeps, creeping me out with their creepy, sepia eyes. creeps.

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CCCD: Corpses in Windows, Cobwebs on Kittens...These are a Few of My Favorite Things

2006-10-11T13:32:00.000-04:00

The crisp, new, autumn air whips through the bedroom window, the wood blinds clank-clank-clank like a nervous skeleton. The clock on the old wooden bureau turns 6:30AM. Geoff, is awoken to the Men at Work tune, "Who Could it Be Now." After wiping the sleep from his eyes, He realizes the music isn't coming from his alarm, and Men at Work isn't performing the song. The tune is coming from outside, from across the street, from a plastic bust of Frankenstein's Monster! "WHO COULD IT BE!" it shrieks out of key, followed by complete silence.

Wearing nothing but boxers, Homer slippers, a hat, a t-shirt, gloves, sweatpants, and a robe, Geoff shuffles down the stairs, creaking at every step.

If a stranger were to enter the house he would be shot on site. But, if you were to enter the house you would think the most torturous, blood-soaked murders occurred here. Skeletons hang from every wall, severed limbs and heads liter the kitchen, piles of candy corn fill the floor, um, er, I mean bloodied candy corn fill the rotting corpses' chest cavity. But, at last, you would be in a very erroneous state if you thought death lived here. What you see is one man's obsession, one man's wish to having the hauntiest, most ghoulishly, Halloweened decorated house on the block.

Outside, Geoff closes his front door and secures the lock. The morning sun breaks through the dawn's dimness, allowing Geoff to gaze at his neighbor's decorations, at his competition. As he makes he way up the street anywhere from 5 to 23 ideas pop into his head, ways to make his neighbors' "haunted" houses look like Rainbow Brite's elf factory. Victory will be his.

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